When you find something that you're passionate about and you engage with it, it may go great for a while. If you're lucky, for a long while. But eventually you're presented with a challenge.
It's just how life is - it keeps giving us opportunities to grow and develop.
And that's the point. We're here in order to learn, grow and expand ourselves - our personality, our character - and get more in touch with our deepest sense of self. With that which we call "life" in every living being, that which is more than our physical body.
We achieve this in big part by the actions we take.
And whilst I'm open to learning through joy, that doesn't mean that things need to be perfect all the time, to prove to me that they're worth pursuing.
In fact, when things aren't going smoothly, that's a sign that I've something to learn that I haven't mastered yet.
It could be a certain skill, how to get through a situation better, but often it's a shift in perception that's needed. Re-evaluating what is a real priority (as opposed to a 'fake' priority which steers me away from living on purpose and toward someone else's agenda).
About 10 or 15 years ago I was of a different opinion. I used to think that if I was on the "right" path, and if something was worth pursuing, everything about it should always be flowing, smoothly and perfectly. Things not going smoothly was an indication to me that it was probably the wrong path. That could be a relationship, direction of study, professional project, or any kind of passion.
Looking back now, through the lens of all my life experience, I see this was a naive notion that life is about *finding* those right things. When it's actually much more than that.
I trust that life isn't so much about *finding* the right thing as it is about *creating* it. Because once we have found the thing, or simply picked one of many that excite us, the fun has only just begun. It's what we make of the opportunities we've got and what we learn from engaging in the arena that creates real value.
Our input is crucial.
Of course this doesn't mean that ALL things are worth pursuing. Some things are better left behind, so we can direct our energy to more worthwhile pursuits.
But how do you know which things to stick with and which to quit?
In my experience, it comes down to checking in with yourself honestly (your deeper self not just the superficial, often fearful voices) and establishing how much that particular thing really matters to you.
❧ Is it bringing you JOY despite the temporary hardships?
❧ Do you feel you're meant to stick with it?
❧ Do you actually find the challenge of it exhilarating?
❧ If you quit, would you regret it 5 years down the line?
❧ Is the learning you can take from it, even if it doesn't work out, worth the effort?
Once you know that something really matters to you, and you can see it for the huge learning opportunity that it is, you'll find it much easier to put in whatever effort it requires.
You'll see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, and the knowing that this process is beneficial to your personal development will be energising. (a bit like sweating at the gym is for your body)
It's like walking an amazing path that has some challenging rocky patches ... those rocky patches don't mean that the path is not worth walking. They can even make it more exciting, and you learn to navigate a rocky patch, what a valuable skill!
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So let's take the context of relationships. Many years ago, before my current relationship, I used to think naively that a sign of the "right" relationship was that it was always in perfect flow without having to put much work into it. I now know that precisely because it's so right it's worth putting work into.
I learned the same in my business, and you can apply this to any other area of your life (your career, business, relationship, a goal or dream you have). If it means enough, you're willing to put in the work.
By putting in the work, you grow as a person, and often your career/business/relationship/dream grows as a result. But at the very least you've got the personal growth and that is priceless!
Whilst there may be hard or scary times, when you put yourself on the line, put a lot in and don't know how it will work out, what it means is you're being brave. You're taking a risk, for the potentially big payoff. It might turn out well, or it might not. But you are living courageously and fully.
So whether something we care about is worth persevering with or not, isn't measured by just how well things are going. It's measured by how much we care about it and how much we're growing through it as a person.
When things aren't going "ideally" for you, don't be too quick to judge the endeavour as the wrong thing to pursue. Or a relationship to ditch.
Rather, assess how much you care about it, and how great it can be if you're willing to learn through it.
And then if it's really worth it for you, re-commit with all you've got. Make a firm decision, and start taking the right actions that you're guided to take.
If you wish my help in exploring whether to keep going or quit, I facilitate a powerful process to connect you with your 3 levels of intelligence (head, heart and gut) which will guide you from within. Email me HERE or book a call with me to below.
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